Have to say I quite enjoyed these two descriptions, obviously no favouritism from the lad


The Teddy Bears

No, it’s okay.

Not that kind of Rangers supporter.

Not the Catholic-hating, right-wing, BNP-supporting, anti-Irish, monarchist, triumphalist, boorish, arrogant, ignorant, sash-wearing, bowler-hatted, Crimplene-trousered, UVF-tattooed, flute-playing, King-Billy-portrait-on-the-mantlepiece, only-started-going-when-Souness- arrived-but-swear-I-was-there-in-the-Eighties, snaw-aff-a-dyke-when-the-team’s-no-winning, couldnae-name-a-non-Old-Firm-player, Union-Jack-waving, Scotland-hating, Nazi-saluting, pipe-bomb-hurling, squeeze-the-toothpaste-at-the-top-end and fart-in-a-crowded-lift kind.

Not the kind who would take all the worst traits and features perceived of individuals within a very large group and then indiscriminately attribute every last person within it.

No.

That kind of person would be a bigot.


And just for equality…


The Bhoys

Those plastic-paddy motherfuckers across the city, who loudly trumpet their Sellickmanthruanthru credentials…their support includes just as many bampots, glory-seekers, bigots and extremists, and their club has just as many skeletons rattling in its closet, but in polite company Celtic fans do not seem to be held individually accountable for these shames and embarrassments the way Rangers fans are. In fact, if anything, it is presented as evidence of some kind of lefty integrity and sympathy for the underdog…


…nobody ever asked if being a Tim meant he was an IRA-supporting, Provo-loving, Proddy-hating, terrorist-sympathising wannabe Irishman who’d never been inside a football stadium prior to Fergus McCan, sang songs glorifying child-murderers, condoned the club’s thirty-year cover-up of the Celtic Boys Club child abuse scandal, baked the board’s decision not to offer Jock Stein a seat because he wasn’t a Catholic and always put some cash in a bucket ‘for the boys’ at the end of a night in the pub.


- Angelique de Xavia, The Sacred Art of Stealing by Christopher Brookmyre